


i wonder.

by quandtuesla



Category: Friday Night Lights
Genre: Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 13:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7106545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quandtuesla/pseuds/quandtuesla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What the hell was he doing here? He was supposed to be in Dillon fighting for Lyla Garrity's heart. Tim Riggins wasn't supposed to be in Chicago overwhelming her with his voice and memories that were best left forgotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i do not own any of these charactes.

The bar was crammed in between the dry cleaners and her favorite Mexican place, and Julie wondered why it had taken her so long to notice it. It was a small dimly lit bar, with a few booths, a pool table, and a stage. The bartender had waved at her when she stepped in and she suddenly felt like she was back in Dillon. It was dimly lit, and the smell of greasy food made her stomach grumble. She ran her hand across the smooth dark wood of the bar and watched the bartender prepare a drink. 

“Can I get you anything?” he asked kindly and Julie looked over the collection of bottles behind him. She grabbed a menu from the counter and took a seat glancing over it before responding. 

“Could I have the Irish fries, hold the meat please. ” she asked tentatively, chewing on her lip. The bartender nodded and yelled her order over his shoulder to the kitchen before turning back and asking her what drink she wanted. Julie grinned, looking at the beers they had on tap. 

“A pint of the Rochefort.” 

He grabbed a glass for her and filled it to the rim, handing it over and squinting at her as she took a sip. 

“Texas?”

“Huh?” Julie furled her eyebrows at the bartender and he asked again.

“Texas, that’s where you’re from. Right?”

Julie chuckled, setting her beer down and scooting her stool closer into the bar. 

“How’d you guess?”

“Nobody orders that beer off the bat unless they're from Texas. The only reason we even got it on tap was because one of our regulars is from Texas. Kept raving about it until we brought it in.”

“Really? He has good taste in beer then.”

“If you stick around for a bit, you can tell him yourself. Comes in every Friday for the Open Mic. Kid’s gotta voice like no other.”

“I’ll think about it.”

He nodded at her and turned to serve the couple that had walked in during their conversation. She sipped on her beer, swiveling about on her stool. There was a baseball game on the television and Julie wondered what Monday Nights looked like in this place. It would be interesting to hear other people’s opinions of her dad’s coaching.  
The bartender brought her fries out and Julie munched on them, glancing at the game every once in a while. The place slowly filled up and Julie could tell that it was definitely a Neighborhood bar, where everyone knew each other. Everyone was kind and would smile at her, and as soon as the ball game was over, music filled the place and Julie suddenly got the urge to call her parents. Someone was setting the small stage, and while Julie was curious about the Texan boy that loved Rochefort, she knew she had to start heading home. 

She payed for her food and drink, waved at the nice bartender and left the place. She tugged at her coat tightly when she stepped outside into the brisk night, making her way to the dry cleaners to pick up her dancing attire. Julie was home before she knew it, cuddling on her couch and sipping on a cup of tea, thinking about the little bar that reminded her of home. 

\-----------------

Rehearsal had been cut short when Sarah injured herself during their third run of the routine, and Julie knew it was going to be a long boring night at her place if things continued as they were currently going. She looked at her watched and sighed, it was only 7:30 on a Friday night and here she was in her pajamas watching Netflix. A completely normal thing for a 25 year old to be doing, she told herself. She groaned when the movie she was watching paused yet again, this was pointless. She glanced at her watch again and shut her computer, if she hurried she could probably make it to Brownings for their Open MIc. 

She hadn’t returned to the small bar in a few weeks, and Julie had been curious about the Texan the bartender had brought up. She had chalked it up to her most recent bout of homesickness. Meeting someone from Texas that wasn’t set on forgetting the Lone state completely would be nice, and she wouldn’t have to worry about running into anyone from the company there. Julie loved the dancers she worked with, but she needed a break from them tonight. 

She changed rapidly, grabbing her purse and setting out to Brownings before she could change her mind. The city was alive tonight, and she couldn’t help but feel more and more excited as she got closer to the small bar. 

It was packed tonight, only 8:00 and Brownings was buzzing with people. She grinned when the bartender from before caught her eye and waved at her. 

“Texas!” He called out over the noisy bar. “I was wondering when you’d be back. Told our boy Timothy all about you. Rochefort?”

Julie laughed and nodded, pulling herself up onto a stool that had just been left empty. 

“Yeah? What’d he say?”

“He said you had to be a decent chick if you liked Rochefort.” He finished pouring her drink and placed it in front of her. 

“Apparently only the natives know it well enough to spot it somewhere.”

She nodded, taking a sip of her beer and looking around the place for any sign of someone that screamed Texas out to her. 

“Wonder boy hasn’t arrived yet. But you’ll know who he is, just keep an ear out for the voice of an angel.” 

Julie nodded and stuck her hand out to shake the bartender’s. 

“I’m Julie by the way.”

“Sam, nice to meet you Julie from Texas. Let me know if I can help you with anything else, I’ll be here all night.”

Julie smiled and Sam went back to serving drinks to everyone else. She grabbed her glass and walked to the back of the bar where the stage was currently being occupied by two girls that were singing a song she didn't know. They sounded nice and she bobbed her head to their music. A few more musicians made their way across the stage over the next hour or so. Julie had struck a conversations with a few girls that were out for the night and they played a few games of pool before choosing a table facing the stage. 

The alcohol had warmed her up and she was having fun with the four roommates that made her feel a part of their group. It was ridiculously packed inside of the bar at the moment and Julie needed a breath. She motioned to the restroom and the girls smiled at her. She heard cheering as she stepped into the ladies room, the noise from outside echoing in and she wondered who had taken the stage. She splashed some water on her face and looked into the mirror, her face was shiny and her eyes bright. She felt giddy and happy and for the first time since Matt had left, Julie felt free. 

Someone was talking into the microphone when she left the restroom. She caught something about the next song being a “new oldie” and she weaved through the crowd towards the bar. Sam smiled at her, pointing to the stage and she furled her eyebrows. He pointed at his ears and Julie realized that he wanted her to listen. Wonder boy must be here, she thought. She nodded enthusiastically and pointed to a pitcher, letting him know she wanted one and then pointed back at her table. He smiled and Julie bobbed her head to the first strums of a guitar. She closed her eyes swaying to the music and smiled when cheers erupted around her again. 

“I wonder how many times you've been had  
And I wonder how many plans have gone bad”

His voice was husky and smooth. Flowing over her and giving her shivers. It sounded familiar and she let herself be carried away. 

“I wonder how many times you had sex  
I wonder do you know who'll be next  
I wonder l wonder wonder I do”

She opened her eyes, still swaying and moving as she wandered back to her table. Everyone was letting go to the song, people were dancing and his voice made her want to melt into a puddle the closer she got to him. The girls had all stood up and were dancing, turning to bring her into the circle, smiling and moving to his voice. 

“I wonder about the love you can't find  
And I wonder about the loneliness that's mine  
I wonder how much going have you got”

She opened her eyes, bringing them up to see the boy Sam had been so intent on her meeting and froze. He was sitting on an apple box, kicking a drum with his foot and strumming his guitar. He was leaning into the microphone and singing to the crowd with his eyes closed. Lazy grin on his face and his head swaying to the song he was playing. 

“And I wonder about your friends that are not  
I wonder I wonder I wonder I do”

Julie’s eyes were wide and her mouth was open. She jumped when a voice whispered into her ear. 

“Not too bad on the eyes either right?” 

She cleared her throat and shook her head, trying to take in what was happening. She mumbled something to Sam and he laughed yelling out that her beer was on the table.

“I wonder about the tears in children's eyes  
And I wonder about the soldier that dies  
I wonder will this hatred ever end”

Beer, that was what she needed. What the hell was he doing here? He was supposed to be in Dillon fighting for Lyla Garrity’s heart. Tim Riggins wasn’t supposed to be in Chicago overwhelming her with his voice and memories that were best left forgotten. When had he started singing anyways?

What the hell was going on. 

She reached for a glass and filled it to the rim, tossing it back and trying her best to pretend that this wasn’t happening. But his voice was was oozing over her and making her think about things she hadn’t thought about in years. 

I wonder and worry my friend  
I wonder I wonder wonder don't you?

Everything felt out of place, and she felt like she was the only one in the bar now. Everyone’s voices but his drifting away and she shut her eyes tightly, willing herself to not cry. He wasn’t here, he wasn’t here, he wasn’t here. Julie wrung her hands together, breathing in and out slowly, making her way back to the bathroom and slamming the door behind her. She made her way back to the sink and splashed ice cold water back onto her face. 

“Pull yourself together Julie!” she yelled, breathing out harshly as she grounded herself back into reality. The soft lull of his voice wafting faintly into the bathroom. 

“I wonder how many times you been had  
And I wonder how many dreams have gone bad”

She laughed darkly, staring at her flushed appearance in the mirror, this time full of fright and sadness she had pushed down a long time ago. Tim. 

She sighed wearily, pulling her hair back into a ponytail and drying her face. She had lied to herself for so long that Matt leaving was what had sent her into her funk, digging herself into a pit where Tim Riggins had never happened. 

“I wonder how many times you've had sex  
And I wonder do you care who'll be next  
I wonder I wonder wonder I do”

The song ended and the crowd was cheering loudly for him, she slid down to the floor and sat against the door. His laugh rang out and she winced. He was thanking them, and the crowd was yelling out for another song. He chuckled and Julie wrapped her arms around her stomach, she could feel the vibrations of his voice and guitar through the floor and she held herself tightly as the memories washed over her with his voice seeping into her body. 

“There is a house in New Orleans”

It happened the year she and Matt hadn’t been together. He had been bugging Tyra at work and in return Tyra had given her his booth. He’d been a wreck, and no one else seemed to realize that Tim Riggins was spiraling. She didn’t even know how they went to talking while she took his order, to him driving her home, and then sneaking away whenever they could to just be at peace. 

At first it wasn’t complicated, they both just understood where they were. She was missing Matt, and he would always be in love with Lyla. And then Julie couldn’t imagine what life would be like without Tim in it. Their long drives where nothing had to be said. Playing golf at his spot, sitting in the back of his truck and watching the sky change colors. 

“They call the Rising Sun  
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy  
And God, I know I'm one"

Then there was that night they’d lost track of time talking about everything and anything. Julie had told him things she never thought she would tell anyone, not even Matt. And Tim had held her when she cried about all her fears, he’d rubbed her back lightly, whispering that she had nothing to worry about. They’d stayed like that for hours, wrapped around each other and Julie had felt like she was home. 

He had opened up in his own way as well, slowly, usually in not too many words. He said things with his eyes, and the way he gripped her hand when he couldn’t go on, he showed her in the way he hugged her and let her comfort him. He wasn’t perfect, pushing her away when he got scared by how much he was opening up to her, but Julie was stubborn as hell. 

“My mother was a tailor  
She sewed my new blue jeans  
My father was a gamblin' man  
Down in New Orleans”

She had pushed away the feeling of his hand against hers, the way their bodies fit together, and how delicately he would touch her skin. She had tried so hard to forget the way he made her shiver when he teased her and whispered in her ear. Or the way his laugh made her happy, and her heart would race the way it used to race for Matt. 

And then they’d started that stupid game. 

“Now the only thing a gambler needs  
Is a suitcase and trunk  
And the only time he's satisfied  
Is when he's on a drunk”

“What are the odds you grab me another beer Taylor?” he’s joked one day and Julie had been confused until he explained the rules. The rules where she had to pick the odds, then they both picked a number, counted to three, and if they had the same number she had to get him his beer. 

One in four-hundred she had said, the couch was too comfortable and she wasn’t about to indulge his drinking habit when Buddy Garrity had been walking around town flaunting that Lyla had someone new in her life.They counted down, and Julie held her breath at the last moment. 

“Seven” he’d said, the cocky grin on his face fading when her number registered in his ears. 

“Thirty-three” 

He was surprised, and Julie had covered up her feelings with a loud laugh and gloats about how she had beat him. Tim had scowled, saying he could get his own beer. 

“What are the odds you don’t drink for the rest of the night Riggins?”

“One in a thousand” he bit back. 

“Six” The number rang out clearly from both of their mouths and Tim had cursed, sitting himself back onto the couch pouting while Julie laughed harder. 

The game continued as their time together grew and grew. Julie still couldn’t believe the whole town couldn’t see her falling in love with Tim Riggins. They must have been really good at hiding that they saw each other everyday and knew more about each other than anyone else in town thought they did. They must have been better at it than she remembered, because no one remembered the time Julie Taylor gave her heart to Tim Riggins and he walked away with it. No one knew about it in fact. 

It was a Saturday. The sky was clear and Tim had been telling her story about something stupid he and Street had done. She had been watching him closely when he turned to face her, smiling at her so brightly that Julie felt her heart was going to jump out of her chest. He’d finished his story and they sat there in the breeze smiling at each other. 

“Tim?” she had said so softly he almost missed it. 

“Yeah?” he whispered back. 

“What are the odds you kiss me?” 

His eyes had widened at her question, and she’d held her breath. His eyes traveled over her face, landing on her lips and the air changed. It was tense and it felt like hours had passed. He had opened his mouth to speak when a voice broke the moment and they both turned to see Lyla standing there. Tim had jumped off his truck so quickly, and Julie sat there frozen and holding back tears she knew were going to fall at any moment. He was whispering something to Lyla and Jule slowly slid off the truck, mumbling a goodbye. 

He’d called out her name, jogging over to her while Lyla observed them from where she was. Her eyebrows were furled, trying to figure out exactly what she had stumbled upon. 

“Tim?” Lyla had called out and Julie had to swallow back the bile she could feel rising in her throat. He had glanced back at her and Julie just shook her head. 

“It’s okay Tim, she’s the love of your life. I’ve always known that.” 

He reached out, but Julie took a step back, looking at the ground and he sighed. 

“Jules…”

“I have to go. I’ll see you around Riggins.”

“See you around little Taylor”

Little Taylor. God, he hadn’t called her that in months. Julie had forced herself to forget everything. Turning away from him and walking away as fast a she could. And when she was far enough away, she ran. Ran as fast as her legs could take her until she stopped and let the tears fall. 

Matt had found her wandering on the side of the road. He was worried out of his mind, going on about how Tim Riggins had called him telling him he needed to find her. He was firing out questions to her, was she okay, did something happen, yelling at her to say something. Julie had snapped then, reaching up to him and crushing her lips to his. Kissing him hard and angry, tears streaming down her face as she pushed away every thought of Tim Riggins from her mind. 

She told herself that things went back to normal after that, but she was lying to herself. It didn’t matter that she didn’t talk to him anymore. It didn’t matter that she'd run away to another state. Or that she had thrown herself back into life with Matt. Nothing was ever going to be the same. 

“Oh, mother, tell your children  
Not to do what I have done  
Spend your lives in sin and misery  
In the house of the rising sun”

Julie cursed, hitting her head against the bathroom dorm and brushing away her tears roughly. That had been a long time ago, and Tim Riggins was not going to slip back into her life and ruin all the progress she had made. She stood, fixing herself up again. 

“Well, I got one foot on the platform  
The other foot on the train  
I'm goin' back to New Orleans  
To wear that ball and chain”

He was in the past. It was all in the past. 

She pushed the door open and the guitar stopped strumming. The room was silent and his voice rang out by itself. Julie took another breath and slowly walked back to her table. 

“Well, there is a house in New Orleans  
They call the Rising Sun  
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy  
And God, I know I'm one”

He opened his eyes slowly after the last note rang out, they were sad and Julie brushed this thought away. The bar was cheering and clapping and Tim smiled softly bowing his head to everyone. 

“Thank you for having me.”

Julie poured herself another beer, turning away from him and listening to the girls rave about his “dreamy voice” and how good looking he was. She could hear him leaving the stage and she nodded at the pool table. 

“Anybody up for another game? Lily nodded, and the two maneuvered their way to the back area of the bar. She played two games, laughing again after winning the first one and feeling herself relax again. She was starting to set up the third game when Sam’s voice reached her ears. 

“I’m telling you she’s here somewhere Timothy. I think you two might even-there she is!”

She tensed, praying that Sam would get called away and she could leave without having to speak to him. 

“Texas! Hey, Julie!” Sam’s voice was getting closer and she could hear Tim laughing.

“JULIE!” he yelled out, slapping his hand on her shoulder and embracing her tightly. 

“I wanna introduce you to someone” Sam twirled her around to face the tall Dillon Panther. Tim stopped moving, he looked shocked to see her in front of him. Sam was still rambling and Julie plastered a smile on her face.  
“Julie this is Timothy! Resident Brownings entertainer and beer extraordinaire. Timothy, this is Julie, she’s from Texas.”

“Timothy.” 

He was still standing there, looking at her like she was some ghost back from the dead. Sam stopped rambling when he finally looked at them and felt the tension between them. 

“Hey are you two-”

“Jules?” Timothy let out, stepping forward to reach out and touch her, but Julie backed away. 

“I can’t do this.” she breathed out, mumbling a quick goodbye to Sam who looked flabbergasted and brushing past Tim and making her way to the door. 

She finally burst out of the bar, taking in a deep breath outside and sighing in frustration. She began walking away when the door swung open again and his voice called out her name. She kept walking, but he caught up with her, touching her shoulder. She twirled around to face him angrily. 

“Don’t.” she huffed out. “You don’t get to say anything Riggins. Not anymore.”

“Jules-”

“And you don’t get to call me that either, Timothy.” she bit out, cutting him off and glaring up at him. 

She was breathing harshly and Tim was looking around the street, opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the right thing to say. Julie turned to walk away but he spoke and she froze. 

“What are the odd you let me kiss you Julie?”

“What kind of sick game are you playing Tim?”

“What are the odds Taylor?” he cut off, coming to stand behind her.

“Shouldn't you be riding off in the sunset with Lyl-”

“The odds.” he urged. She could feel him breathing behind her and she shivered. 

“One in a million” she breathed out and Tim was silent for a moment. 

“Ready?

Julie immediately regretted saying anything. Her breathing quickened along with her heart and she was shaking. 

“One”

Oh God. Julie felt the bile returning. 

“Two” 

What the hell was she doing?

“Three”

The sound of their breathing was loud and overwhelming as they stood there. It felt like hours passed before they spoke, when really it couldn’t have been more than a second. 

“Six” 

The number hung in the air, and suddenly his hands were on her body, spinning her around to face him. He pulled her in, holding her face in his hands and watching her. Tim pressed his lips against her forehead first. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. 

His lips kissed the bridge of her nose next. 

“I was an idiot.”

Julie was shaking and her eyes were watering. She shut them tightly and Tim brushed away the tears. 

His lips trailing down the path the tears had begun to make. He was gentle, whispering her name, apologizing over and over again in between kisses. His lips pressed against the corner of her mouth and Julie lost it. She cried out, hitting his chest and Tim took in each blow, holding her delicately. 

“Why are you doing this now Tim? I don’t think I can do this, I can’t-”

She stopped talking, looking up at him and taking in his face. His eyes were glassy, troubled, and full of fear. Julie took a small breath, composing herself as she looked up at the boy she had fallen in love with when she was seventeen. She looked down at her fists lying against his chest and she opened up her hands, feeling his heart beating against her palms. When she looked up again, she saw that the boy she had fell in love with had grown into this man. 

A man who made mistakes, and who picked himself up from them. A man who was willing to fight her stubbornness with his own and to remind her of the girl she used to be. 

“How long?”

Julie didn’t need to elaborate. Tim knew exactly what she wanted to know. His hands moved down to her waist and he held on tightly as he spoke. 

“Almost three years.” he said gruffly, his words caught in his throat. “You were still with Seven, I thought you had moved on. This city really grabbed a hold of me though, and I thought that if I didn’t have you, at least I could still have some of you in my life.”

Julie dropped her hands, scared to hear what he would say next. 

“I lied to myself for so long, trying to make things with Lyla work, but I knew back then that it was never going to be like when I was with you. When Seven told me he left, I wanted to wring his neck. And then I didn’t-I didn’t.”

Tim stopped, tilting her face up to look at him. 

“God Jules, I didn't know what to say or do. And I am so sor-”

Her hands shout out quickly, grabbing the collar of his jacket and pulling him down. She cut him off with her lips. Their bodies were pressed against each other, Jule was gipping his hair and her lips were gliding against his desperately. There wasn’t anything gentle about the way she took control, her breathing was erratic. He tasted of beer and spearmint bubblegum, her eyes were shut tightly and she caught his bottom lip in between her teeth, biting down, their teeth clacking together and she shivered when Tim groaned. His hands came up to cup her face again, and Julie moaned when his tongue traced over her lips.  
They had moved, Julie was pressed against the wall and Tim was holding her tightly. Their lips slowing down, both of them holding onto the moment and their breaths clashing against each other. Their cheeks were flushed and Julie opened her eyes slowly, their noses grazing against each other and their lips hovering against each other.  
Julie breathed in, she breathed out, her heart was pounding and blood was rushing in her ears. She could feel his heart racing, and she watched him try to compose his features. His eyes blinking quickly, as if he couldn’t believe their lips had actually met. When he locked his gaze on her though, he couldn’t help but smile softly and Julie blushed.  
His hands were resting against the nape of her neck, drawing soft patterns, and hers had drifted back down to his chest.  
“Wow, that was…”  
Tim’s voice trailed off and Julie giggled at his inability to speak.  
“Yeah,” she replied softly hiding her face in his chest.  
“So much better than I imagined it would be.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Jesus.”  
Tim shook his head, pulling her away from his chest so she would look at him.  
“Yes, Fuck yes.”  
She laughed at his enthusiastic response and Tim grinned down at her.  
“Tim?”  
“Mhmm,” he replied from the crook of her neck.  
“What are the odds this works out this time?”  
Tim breathed in again before pulling away and staring at her seriously. His eyes were bright and wide, full of love and light.  
“One in one Jules. Because I love you. I’m all yours, got it?”  
“One in one, I think I can live with that.” she teased and reached up to cup his face.  
“I’m all yours too Tim.”


	2. all that matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a look back at the way things started.

“Tyra. Oh Tyra. Hey Collette, what’s a guy gotta do to get some service around here? 

Tyra huffed, rolling her eyes at Tim who was shooting her that cocky grin of his like she was going to fall for him all over again. He’d been here for 5 minutes and had already managed to piss her off more than the family of 5 that had badgered her for an hour earlier that day. She set down a glass of water roughly on the table and glared at him. 

“You think you’re funny don’t you Tim? Let me fill you in on a little secret, whatever you say or do isn’t going to work, so why don’t you just leave.”

“That hurts Tyra. You’re breaking my heart here.” he joked and Tyra groaned loudly. She turned and went into the kitchen muttering about how stupid Tim Riggins was. And that was how Julie found her. Breathing in and out slowly and ranting about Tim Riggins and how stupid he was. 

“You all right Tyra?” she asked carefully, adjusting her uniform. 

“I’m fine! Tim’s just being an asshole again.”

Tyra suddenly looked up, staring at Julie in a way that worried her a bit. She tilted her head at Julie and Julie opened her mouth to ask her if everything was really okay. 

“Jules.” Tyra let out sweetly and Julie raised her eyebrows. That tone never led to anything good, and considering she’d had an atrocious day so far Julie didn’t want any part of Tyra’s schemes. 

“Please, please, please switch sections with me today. I promise I will make it up to you. I’ll do anything, but please just switch sections with me.” 

"Switch sections? That's all you want?" Julie squinted at Tyra in confusion. 

"Plea-"

"I thought it was something stupid. Of course I'll switch sections with you Tyra. It's not that big of a deal." 

Tyra's eyes widened and she threw her arms around Julie thanking her rapidly. She blurted something out about not hating her too much and Julie tried to ask her what she meant, but Tyra was already gone. 

Julie followed the older blondes path and looked out into the fairly empty Applebee's. 

"Which section was yours tod-"

She stopped mid-sentence when her ears caught a voice calling out Tyra's name.

Oh God. What had she done. 

Julie frantically moved her head through the restaurant and she groaned when her eyes spotted the reason for Tyra wanting to switch sections. She knew that tone never led to good news, why didn't she just say no? 

Tim Riggins was the last person she wanted to pretend to be kind to at the moment. Stupid football players and their ability to ruin her life at any turn. She shot Tyra a glare on her way to his booth and Tyra shrugged her shoulders and mouthed out apologies that Julie planned on making sure she followed through on. 

She blew out a slow breath as she neared the booth that contained Tim Riggins in it. He turned his head and grinned widely when he noticed her coming his way. Julie had to hold back the urge to flip him off and send him and his stupid grin to hell. 

“Little Tay-”

“Look Riggins, I don’t really feel up for your crap today, so you’re going to order, you’re going to be nice, and you’re going to be quiet. Then you’re going to leave and you’re going to leave a nice tip.” she bit out, while somehow still smiling brightly at him like she would any other customer. He smirked and looked back down at his menu. 

“Does Management know you talk to customers this way Julie? Matter of fact, does Mrs. Coach know you talk to customers this way?”

He had been fully prepared to continue teasing the coach’s daughter, but when he finished his comment Tim was surprised she didn’t reply. He looked up at her, actually looked at her and realized that she looked like hell. It wasn’t automatically noticeable, but it was there. The bags under her eyes, and her hair looked like was done in a hurry, there was a sadness behind the anger she was shooting at him. 

Seven must have really screwed with her head. 

She was staring down at him with Coach’s “no bullshit” face and it was scarier than he thought it would be. Tim decided there were going to be days he could tease Julie and get a rise out of her, but today would not be one of those days and chose to nod at her quietly. Julie let a half smile slip before fixing her features back to seriousness and it made him happy to know that she was still capable of showing a genuine smile. 

It’d be a shame if Julie Taylor never smiled again. 

\------------------------

“Shouldn’t you be sitting three booths over and bugging Tyra?”

“I thought a change of scenery would suit me Jules.” Tim drawled out and Julie sighed. 

“Is this going to be your new thing Tim Riggins? Bugging me?”

“I’m just trying to build stable relationships that influence me to make better life choices. At least that’s what your mom tells me.”

Julie laughed, looking down at Tim and he was grinning at her. 

“That sounds like something she would say. All right then, what can I get you, more dead cow?”

“Dead cow, extra fries, and a shake.”

She wrinkled her nose when he decided to describe exactly how he wanted his burger cooked and Tim just chuckled. She finished taking his order and left it for the cooks, glancing over at Tim from the back area. He looked so sad and Julie wondered how no one else noticed it. It was obvious to her that there was something going on with him, even though he tried to cover it up with his charm and good looks. 

Her shift went by faster than it usually did. Serving people, cleaning up, glancing over at Tim every once in a while to make sure he was doing okay, and then it was time to go home. He came in every day that week, cracking jokes and sharing lazy grins. He didn’t eat all the time, mulling over an order only to ask for a glass of water or deciding he had to leave and after his 5th consecutive visit in her section Julie laid down rules for him. 

“If you want to come here and annoy me you’re going to have to do a little more than take an hour to order food.” 

He leaned back, bringing his hands behind his back and grinning at her. 

“Well?” 

“You’re going to do homework. I know you’re behind, and I’m not going to be blamed for your academic failures when my mom finds out where you’re spending all your free time.”

“Is that all?”

“Tim you have to- wait, did you just agree with me?”

“I don’t guarantee I’ll do well on any of it, but I’ll do it. Besides, it’s better than...” Tim trailed off and Julie looked away.   
She nodded slowly suddenly feeling awkward, like she was intruding on a part of his life that she didn’t belong in. 

“All right then, next week you bring in your books and things and you can stay as long as you want. I’ll even leave you an endless serving of fries.” 

“Throw in a shake?”

“No a chance, you want a shake you pay for it.”

Tim laughed, and Julie smiled, happy that he seemed to come back from wherever he had gone. 

“Oh, and Tim?” she said softly catching his attention. “You have to tone it down with the whiskey.”

He raised his eyebrows, surprised that Julie had caught on to all the drinking he’d been doing. No one else had seemed to notice, not even the guys on the team had caught on to the downward spiral Tim was on. It was probably due to the fact that they would all just rather be oblivious to his inevitable death by alcohol. 

But Julie could catch the scent of hard liquor on his breath beneath the tones of mint gum. She had considered bringing it up to her dad, but something about the way Tim came in everyday desperate for attention made her think that maybe she could get to him before it was too late. She wasn’t naive enough to think that she would fix Tim Riggins, but sometimes all you needed was a friend.

Tim nodded slowly and Julie smiled brightly at him, almost as if to reassure him that he could do it. It was painful, and Tim wondered in that moment if he should walk away from the bright light that was Julie Taylor. He’d find a way to break this, he always did. But she reached out to squeeze his shoulder, reassuring him it was going to be all right and Tim brushed aside his thoughts. 

\-----------------------

It was hot. 

Julie could feel the sweat pooling under her uniform, her hair was sticking to her face, and she wanted to curse. It was supposed to be a slow day, but the good doctors of Texas had found her Applebee’s to be the perfect place to stop at on their way to a convention. 

It had been a non-stop flow of middle-aged men that kept telling the same medical jokes since the beginning of her shift and this wasn’t the way she wanted to end her Saturday night. Tyra breezed past her, whispering something under her breath and Julie rolled her eyes. 

“Refill for the vagina kings at table five.” 

Table five was full of gynecologists that thought they were God’s gift to women and she had gotten really tired of their crude commentary they thought she couldn’t hear. She filled up the round of drinks as quickly as possible and kept herself busy with the rest of the orders just so her shift would fly by as quickly as possible. 

When she finally walked out of the restaurant she let out a heavy sigh, exhausted from what had to be the longest shift in the world. The air was cool and still, something Julie really appreciated after having prespired more than she ever thought she could. Her uniform was sticky and was clinging to her back, and she felt like stripping down right in the middle of the parking lot but that didn't seem like the wisest idea at the moment. 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

Julie screamed when the deep voice startled her, huffing in annoyance when she looked up to find Tim grinning at her.

“You scared me!” she bit out, swatting his chest and Tim laughed. 

“Awww, is little Taylor scared?” he taunted and Julie crossed her arms, glaring up at him. 

“Shut up”

“Come on, you have to admit, it was funny” he chuckled, swinging his arm around her shoulder and walking her over to his truck. 

“It was not funny. You jerk.”

“Would a jerk pick you up from work?”

“It doesn’t count as a good deed if I’m paying you”

He snorted, opening the door to his truck for her and Julie let out a sigh when she finally sat down. 

“Long day?” he asked 

“The longest” she sighed out, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

He smiled at her for a moment before shutting the door and making his way over to the drivers side. She did look exhausted, but something about the way she relaxed completely and made herself at home made Tim happy. He had been driving her home for a few weeks already and found that he quite enjoyed the quiet rides back to the coach's house. 

He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, and looked down at his clock. If they left now, they could probably make the sun setting. It was one of his favorite things about his spot, and Julie looked like she could use a small adventure. Tim glanced over at Julie before making up his mind and starting the car. He began the familiar trail up to his spot, and suddenly Julie opened her mouth.

“Why aren’t you taking me home?”

“How do you know I’m not taking you home Jules?”

“I know the route home Tim.”

“You don’t even have your eyes open.”

“I don’t need to have my eyes open to know the route.”

“Relax Julie.”

“Oh God, this is how I die isn’t it? They were all right, I shouldn’t have-”

“Oh shut your mouth Taylor, if I had wanted to kill you I would have done it already.”

Her laugh escaped her mouth, and Tim glanced over to roll his eyes at her. She was laughing at him, her eyes were twinkling and Tim had to bite back his own smile. 

“You think you’re so funny, don’t you”

“I know I’m funny Riggins.” 

She peered out the window, trying to deduce where he was taking her, humming along to the song on the radio and Tim wondered why it had taken him so long to realize that Julie Taylor was an excellent friend. 

He pulled the truck up to his usual spot and Julie let out a slow whistle as she stared out into the open field. 

“Wow.”

“I know.”

The sun was slowly creeping away and the sky was a myriad of colors. Blues that were seeping into reds, with a hint of purple that snuck in between the two. There were hints of orange and yellow and Julie hopped out of the truck to soak it all in. 

He stepped out, walking over to stand next to her and then they were sitting, staring up at all the colors that were changing in front of them. 

“It gets better.” he whispered and Julie hummed. 

She couldn’t imagine that it could get better, the sky looked like it was on fire, and everything about this moment felt right. But right before the sun disappeared completely, the sky turned a shade she couldn’t even name. She gasped, leaning her head on Tim’s shoulder and he smiled. The sun disappeared and the remaining light looked like it was peeking over the edge of the night, begging to come back. 

“Thank you.” she breathed out and Tim nodded, unsure of what to say exactly without runing the moment. 

“I’m sorry for scaring you.”

She laughed, waving it aside and letting him know she would get him back eventually. They sat next to each other for a while, before she stood up, brushing the dirt off her jeans and extending her hand out to help him up. Something about the way Julie looked at him again that night scared him, but he swallowed the fear back and dropped her off. The next day, he wasn’t there to pick her up from her shift, too drunk to remember she would be waiting for him. 

When he showed up at her home later that week, Julie slapped him. It stung, and he couldn’t find anything to say at all. She stared at him for a while expecting him to say something, but after a while she looked away and asked him to just go home and clean himself up. 

“You can’t fix me Jules” he whispered and she looked so disappointed in him that he had to look away. 

“I’m not Lyla Tim. I’m not trying to fix you.” she bit out. “If you want to drink yourself to death, fine. But don’t expect me to stand around and watch you do it. 

She turned her back to him, stepping back into her home, but stopped before she went in. 

“You’re better than this.” 

And then the door shut, leaving him outside all alone with nothing but his unspoken thoughts lodged in his throat. 

\------------------------

He spent the next week going to his booth and doing nothing but hw. He didn’t talk to her, and she didn't speak to him. For some reason he couldn’t explain he felt that he needed to make it up to her and this was the only way that made sense. He read and wrote, and he never bugged her if it wasn’t necessary. Somehow it seemed to work, after the seventh day she came up to him and informed him that she was tired of not talking to him and that they were going on a drive to put it all behind them. 

He couldn’t hold back his smile and when her shift was over Tim couldn’t drive out to their spot fast enough. 

Their spot. It surprised him how quickly she had taken ownership of his special spot. But Tim didn’t mind sharing. 

That night they talked for hours, and when he finally dropped her off at home, Tim felt like he could breathe again. 

Eventually Tim seemed to be the only person aside from Tyra that Julie was spending time with. Yet it surprised her that no one really seemed to notice, nor did they say much about the odd friendship. Which was just fine for both of them, they really didn’t need unnecessary rumors floating around about them. 

“What are the odds you let me curl your hair?” 

Tim groaned, causing Julie to giggle more. They were supposed to be studying, but had ended up watching a movie instead and talking about everything but their hw. 

“I should have never taught you how to play, you’re a monster.” 

Julie laughed again, and asked the odds again in between breaths. 

“1 in 3 million.”

“Ready?”

They counted down and Tim let out a sigh of relief when their numbers spilled out and were as far away from each other as possible. Julie pouted for a minute before moving on and find something else to play odds with. She felt that if she had the opportunity to make Tim Riggins do things nobody else could, then she shouldn’t lose that opportunity. 

“What are the odds you give me free fries for a week?”   
“What, the free shakes aren’t enough for you?”

“Those aren’t free, I drive you places Taylor.”

“Fine. 1 in 560.”

They counted down again and Julie let out a shout of victory when the numbers didn’t match again. Tim glanced down at the book in his lap and made a comment about how they should go back to studying soon, and Julie laughed. 

“Look at you Riggins, caring about your education.”

She smiled brightly at him and Tim shook his head slowly, a small smile appearing. 

“Don’t go telling anyone, I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”

“Cross my heart.”

He watched her had mark an x over her heart and he reached over to grab it. 

“Pinky promise.”

She laughed, hooking her pinky around his. 

“I pinky promise that I won’t ruin your reputation.” 

They stared at each other for a while, grinning like idiots, pinkys still hooked round each other. Julie felt a tug in her heart, and then she pulled away, laughing nervously all of a sudden and looking away. 

“Okay, so where were we?” 

She grabbed the sheet of questions she’d been grilling Tim with before they got distracted and tried to clear her head and compose herself. Julie didn’t know what to do with all the butterflies, Tim wasn’t hers, he never would be. Tim wasn’t Matt and something about that felt so right, but Julie tried to push it aside. They were friends, and she was just projecting her feelings onto Tim because they had been spending so much time together. 

Deep down she knew she was lying to herself, but Julie would give anything to hold onto the normalcy that she and Tim had together. She wasn’t stupid enough to think that he would ever think about her other than in a sister capacity, so she pushed everything down and read the questions off the page to him. Mindlessly spitting out words and nodding her head to his answers.

\-------------------------

“Riggins looks like a lost puppy, his booth’s taken.” Tyra shared as she breezed by Julie. 

She laughed, trying her best to school her features so that Tyra wouldn’t notice the blush that had made it’s way onto her face. It had gotten harder to hide her feelings over the last month, it seemed that the harder she tried to push them away the harder they fought back. Her stomach would flutter at the mention of his name, and every time she saw him her heart would race. It had only gotten worse since the night of the pinky promise and Julie wasn’t sure how long she was going to be able to keep running from them. 

It seemed that her heart was set on ruining everything she had built with Tim, and she didn’t appreciate it. 

He really did look like a lost puppy. A small group of moms had taken over his normal spot and Julie couldn’t help but smile at the look on his face. When he caught her staring at him he raised his eyebrows, glancing around at the different tables and asking her where he should sit. SHe let out a small laugh, biting back the urge to run over and do something stupid like kiss him. She tilted her head back, letting him know to follow her and she led him back to the kitchen. 

“You can read back here, and if you’re nice the guys will make you fries. I’ll let you know when your booth is empty.”

He nodded, looking around the kitchen for a spot where he wouldn’t be much of a bother. 

“Thanks Jules.”

Julie watched him settle himself into a small corner, his hair was falling over his eyes and she sighed. Quickly, she slipped off one of her hairbands and shot it him. 

“Control your hair while you’re in here.” 

He made a face at her and Julie laughed, sticking her tongue out at him. 

Tim pulled his hair back, and reached down for the book he had been reading for the past few weeks. Watching Julie leave out of the corner of his eye, and letting out a small breath of relief. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with the feelings that were confusing him. He loved Lyla, and it wasn’t fair to project all of his feelings onto Julie when they were both lonely and confused. And she loved Matt, none of that had changed. They were friends, and it was best if Tim could control the urge to get carried away. 

It didn’t help that they didn’t really have a rule about touching. It seemed that whenever they were alone, their bodies needed to find a way to be connected. Their legs always ended up tangled together, he would play with her hair, she would lean her head on his shoulder, they held hands, it was confusing as hell. But everything about the way they interacted with each other never felt wrong. 

Time flew by, and Tim was so busy trying to think about what this book meant instead of obsessing over Julie, that he didn't even realize when she was standing in front of him again. He looked up at her and she looked confused for a second before a small smile appeared. 

“My booth ready?”

“Not exactly, my shift is over. Mommy pack is still at your booth.”

“How long have I been sitting here?”

“Two hours, give or take.”

He looked surprised, looking around the kitchen and realizing some of the the staff had changed. He pushed his book back into his bag and stood up quickly. 

“Well I’ll be damned. The book actually made me forget about everything.”

Julie laughed, and brought a bag out from behind her back. 

“I did get you something though.”

Tim gasped obnoxiously causing her to roll her eyes. He brought his hand up to his chest and widened his eyes. 

“You didn’t.”

“Oh shut up.” she muttered handing the bag over to him and walking away. 

“Dead cow and fries, just for me? You sure know the way to my heart don’t you.” 

She chuckled, waving at her co-workers on their way out. The bag rustled a bit and Julie smiled to herself. 

“And a shake, damn Jules. You must really love me.” 

She stopped walking for a moment, the blood rushing to her face and Tim bumped into her. She apologized, and kept walking to his truck. He looked like a kid on Christmas, and it made her heart flutter the way it used to when Matt would smile at her. She shook her head, burying the thought away and smiling at him when he jumped into the seat next to her, gulping down his shake and digging through the bag for more fries. 

He drove them out to their spot, downing the entirety of his meal while cracking jokes. Julie laughed and stole a few stray fries from him, teasing him about what a messy eater he was. There was mustard on his shirt now, and crumbs around his mouth, and Julie just kept laughing at him. Tim chose to ignore her, and when they made it to their spot, he turned to face her and smeared a bit of mustard on her face just to shut her up. 

She ate the last fry and promised that she would remember this in the future too. 

The sky was particularly beautiful tonight, and they ended up in the back of his truck like they usually did, staring up at the colors that were always different and magnificent. Julie shivered a bit when the breeze picked up and Tim wrapped his arm around her and she snuggled into his embrace. Mentally rebuking herself for allowing this to happen. 

“Tim?” she whispered

“Yeah?”

“What are the odds we’ll still be friends ten years from now?”

Tim froze. He didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t want to answer that. People changed, they grew apart, and making promises that wouldn’t be kept, or generalizations about the future wasn’t going to help anyone. 

“Does it really matter?”

Julie let his answer hang in the air, disappointed but not surprised that he wasn’t willing to bet on this. 

“We’re here now Julie, isn’t that what matters?”

His voice was gruff, and Julie was biting back comments about Lyla and Street. Comments about the promises he made to them and Texas forever. He reached down to grab ahold of her hand, and Julie stared at their fingers intertwined before looking back up at the sky again. 

“Yeah, that’s all that matters.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all enjoyed this! i forgot i had written it and never got around to posting it before.


End file.
